Parent-Child Relationships As Seen In All I Asking for is My Body

Hawaiʻi was the first U.S. possession to become a major destination for immigrants from Japan. A large number of Japanese began arriving on the islands in 1868 during the rise of the sugar industry, when plantation owners began to hire laborers from other countries to make up their workforce. These immigrants were the first of what would become wave after wave of Issei, or first generation, who were anxious to find new fortune in “Golden Hawai'i” and return to their homeland with status and wealth. But many would soon realize that returning home was a task close to impossible, thus establishing permanent lives here – giving birth to and raising a second generation, the Nisei (Ogawa 5).

The early years of the Nisei were a complex period of cultural growth and "finding oneself." At home, the second generation learned the language of their immigrant parents, simple virtues of Japanese behavior, and cultural values and ethical standards such as filial piety and respect for the family. While in public school, from the radio and movies, and their non-Japanese peers they learned goals of justice, equality, opportunity and the unique blending of ethnic cultures and pidgin language known as the local lifestyle (Ogawa 7). This merging of separate sets of beliefs and values caused for a very different parent-child relationship than the first generations were used to back home. As seen in Milton Murayama’s All I Asking for is My Body, the collision of traditional and amalgam cultures caused some strain between the Issei and Nisei. This is portrayed through the ongoing tension between Tosh Oyama and his parents, as well as Kiyoshi Oyama’s battle with wanting to please them and doing what he believes is right for himself.

The influence of authority and tradition cannot be overlooked in parent-child contacts. One of the basic ideas of Japanese life is respect of the family, and more especially, the family name. This ideal has been stressed in the home education of the second and third generations through gestures and definitions by parents. Murayama sheds light on the traditional Japanese fear of shame (haji) and bringing bad attention to yourself as well as your relatives in Part I – “I’ll Crack Your Head Kotsun” (Ogawa 24). When Kiyoshi begins to hang out with Makot, whom we later find out is the son of the camp prostitute and pimp, Kiyo’s parents forbid him from playing and eating with the innocent boy. When Kiyoshi asks his mother why, she initially explains, “You will bring shame to your father and me if you go there to eat. People will say, ‘Ah, look at the Oyama’s number two boy. He’s a hoitobo (beggar)! He’s a chorimbo (bum)! That’s because his parents are hoitobo and chorimbo!’” (Murayama 2). But as Kiyoshi continues to ignore his mother’s commands, his father later reveals that the real reason behind their dislike for Makot was because “His home is bad. His father is bad. His mother is bad” (Murayama 9). Through these rationalizations, we, the readers, are made aware of the traditional Japanese belief that what a child does is a reflection on his or her parents and vise versa.

Another basic ideal of Japanese custom is being respectful of one’s elders. The Japanese highly revere age, and demand that courtesy be shown to elders on all occasions. This is expected especially of youth (Ogawa 15). Murayama portrays the importance of constantly revering those older than you throughout the entire book. Tosh is often chastised for the insolent and brazen ways he addresses and defies his parents. Although he is not the eldest son, Kiyoshi is the one who often abides by this very fundamental rule. Therefore, Kiyo is the child that their mother is really reliant on to pay off the debts of his ancestors and fulfill their filial piety. She often says to Tosh, “Don’t worry, we won’t depend on you, we’ll depend on Kiyoshi” (Murayama 45).

Filial piety, or respect for one’s elders and ancestors, is a virtue often brought up by Kiyoshi and Tosh’s mother and father who have been filial to their father and father-in-law by giving him their first earnings in Hawaiʻi so that he could go back to Japan and begin yet another unsuccessful clothing business. Then, as if that were not enough, they also took on his thousands of dollars in debt. It is apparent in some of the scenes where Kiyo and Tosh are in school that the American teachers do not understand or totally agree with the worth of such a custom. The teacher character, Snooky, constantly challenges his students’ belief in filial piety and the complacent and morbidly obedient attitudes it generates and perpetuates. Snooky dares them to question these virtues when he says, “What about fresh air and freedom for the individual? What about standing on your own feet? What about thinking for yourself, using your own noodle. Huh?” (Murayama 34). From this excerpt we see how the values of the Issei and the values of their new country clash in order to form the new convictions of the Nisei.

This new kind of Nisei response to the idea of filial piety is illustrated in the way Tosh reacts to the fact that as the eldest son the family debts now lie on his shoulders. He is forced to think about work and money rather than looking forward to high school. Tosh begins to inherit the American ideals of parents sacrificing their lives for their children rather than the other way around. This is seen in the way he considers his grandfather a “thief” rather than accepting it as his custom and responsibility (Murayama 42). His mother tells him, “You’re full of selfishness. You’re not a Japanese” (Murayama 57). To some extent he agrees with her, and goes so far as to ask his father to cancel his and Kiyoshi’s Japanese citizenship. Although this only keeps the two brothers from being recognized as “belonging” to Japan, this seems to be a pivotal moment in the book’s plot. At the end it ultimately saves them from much of the backlash that came with the bombing of Pearl Harbor, but it also further disconnected them from the culture of their ancestors and the Issei. Simultaneously, it pushed them closer towards the new-Japanese ways that were beginning to develop, and would continue to progress in the years to come.

The process of conflict and accommodation are taking place continuously in the Japanese families in Hawaii. The Oyama family represents a rather common experience among the average immigrant families. The problems arising between the first and the second generations are primarily caused by the clash of cultures and the struggle between age and youth. However, in this constantly changing milieu, there are still surviving some fundamental Japanese ideals as hard work, perseverance, and frugality - the Bushido Code of the samurai (Ogawa 21). And most important, instilled in the nisei was the drive for success, seiko - a success measured in the attainment of social and economic prestige (Ogawa 21).

If one worked hard, saved, sacrificed and gathered strength from one's cultural roots, then material, social and spiritual well-being would be possible. Through their efforts to establish homes in the Islands and to improve the quality of their lives in the face of powerful countervailing forces, the issei provided a sound base upon which succeeding generations could grow and even change.

Works Cited

Murayama, Milton. All I Asking for Is My Body. Honolulu, HI: U of Hawaii, 1988. Print.

Ogawa, Dennis M. Jan Ken Po: The World of Hawaii's Japanese Americans. Honolulu: U of Hawaii, 1978. Print.